WASHINGTON — Well, it is not all bad news! Official Washington has unveiled its presidential candidate for 2020, and he will be every bit as effective as the Democrats running for the House of Representatives and the Senate were yesterday. He was chosen by official Washington's kingmaker this past Sunday on the op-ed page of The New York Times, Maureen Dowd. He is 81 years old, and he will be 83 when he enters office. He already run for the presidency twice in the 1980s, so he is no ingenue at this game. He ran on New Ideas back in the 1980s, so this time around they will be Very New Ideas, such as socialism and vegetarianism, and maybe he will have a gender reconfiguration, or whatever they will be calling it by 2020.
The candidate chosen by Boss Dowd is Gary Hart, whom she introduced to her readers as "a tall man with white hair, granite features, black jeans," etc., etc. Granite features do not mean that Hart is a stone head. Take la Dowd's word for it; he is an intellectual. But then again, are not all Democrats intellectuals? I think he plays a guitar and tweets. He is so active on his Tweeter account that he supplements his diet of meat and potatoes with birdseed. It helps him tweet. You can tell he resorts to birdseed by the whiteness of his hair.
At any rate, he is off and running and has the blessing of The Times and Dowd, who likes him because he is a man, a Real Man. What is more, he is a man who puts women in mind of former President John F. Kennedy. He has been doing this since at least the mid-1980s, possibly earlier. That is one reason he changed his name from Hartpence (as it appeared on his baptismal documents) to Hart (as it appears on his driver's license). The name change enhances his Kennedyesque presence, or maybe I should say his Kennedyesque charisma.Ad FeedbackSome of you younger Democrats might not recall Hart, or I should say former Sen. Hart. He was for a period of time, from 1975 to 1987, a senator from ... as I recall, it was New Mexico, or maybe Colorado. No, I think it was New Mexico. That is a more intellectual and artistic place to come from, and who will remember after all these years anyway? Sen. Hart or Hartpence — take your pick. You are a Democrat, and you Democrats pretty much make the rules in this country.